Culture Shock
Imagine waking up one morning and everything you were accustomed to was different. It was freezing cold in April, but the window in the bedroom was open. The city sounds; sirens, airplanes and cars honking their horns had been replaced with an eerie silence except for ding-dong, ding-dong. Certain smells, the ones directly linked to the ding dong of the bells – or more precisely to the cows they were attached to, were not only different but unpleasant. I did recognize the much more pleasant, enticing coffee smells coming from the kitchen but I did not recognize the language being spoken. As a matter of fact, I could not understand one single word.
Longest Case of Jet-Lag
I was terribly disoriented, I wrote it off as jet-lag since I just arrived in my new Swiss home the night before. The longest case of jet-lag on record – it lasted nearly 5 years. When the morning haze lifted from my brain, I remembered the doubts that my friends and family expressed after I announced that I was giving up my career, getting married and moving to Switzerland. My family’s response to the big news was to say the least cool, maybe frosty defines it better. My mother simply cried - rivers. My Daddy said, “I always expected you to marry a Smith or Jones, I never expected you to marry a Gaba- What??” My best friend demonstrated her knowledge of international affairs when she asked if they had Coca-Cola in Switzerland. What’s the big deal; I moved to Miami, Cuba and survived! My daddy went on to lovingly say, “Honey sometimes you are just too stupid to be afraid.”
Keep your hand in your lap, correct?
Nothing was the same as at home. The obvious difference was the language. In 1985 this meant no English TV, no movies, theatre, church, magazines or books. I not only realized I couldn’t speak (a real challenge for me), but the Swiss eat differently, not with the right hand in their lap. I was prepared to learn German but was flabbergasted when I realized that I would have to re-learn to eat! I had certainly been doing a pretty good job of eating for 25 years. Even the playing cards were different, numbers two through five were missing. I was fully aware that Switzerland had longer winters than Miami, but they seemed to last forever in stark contrast to spring. Spring was so short that if you blinked twice you missed it. The one and only time I took a train was in kindergarten. The only skiing I knew was on a lake. I had never even seen ice-skates or a sled, as a matter of fact I had only seen snow three times in my life. Maybe my dad wasn’t right, I was afraid!
A Chance
Then I remembered a conversation I had with the CEO of the Television Station where I was Operations Manager. My Chilean boss was an expert on cross-cultural marriages, divorced from an American and a Cuban; this time around he was giving a Puerto Rican a chance. I was bursting with excitement and couldn’t wait to break the news; I was marrying a Swiss and moving to Switzerland. His response was anything but expected - it was down-right scary. “I assume you love him but that’s not nearly enough,” he said. He then asked, “Are you willing to give up everything you love here at home and fall passionately in love with what your new home has to offer? “If you can do that,” he said, “then you might have a chance”. It wasn’t until years later that I fully realized the significance of that conversation. That meant trading my passion for American college football for soccer, the beach for the mountains, poker for Jass, driving everywhere to hiking, speaking German instead of English, etc.
My Integration Adventure Begins
However, I took the advice to heart and began my adventure; a journey of an “Ausländer”, navigating the hills and valleys of integration. My journey has sometimes been head shaking, frustrating, terribly embarrassing, and sometimes even hilarious. It has provided me with infinite challenges and many opportunities to make a fool of myself. At the risk of doing it again, I would like to share some of my experiences of overcoming the challenges of integration with you.
Coming Soon
Join me on my winter adventures; riding ski-lifts backwards or ice-sledding for beginners in Bergün. Accompany me on my battles with the “Duden”, visits to the “dekoriert” Carnival restaurants with my toddlers, romantic weekends in a mountain cabin (Berghütte) for two +20! Did I mention the story about catching the golf ball with my head? No? These stories and many, many more are waiting for you every??
LOL
I hope these stories will not only make you grin, but encourage you “Ausländer” out there to learn the language and get involved in your communities. I want to give the “Einheimische” insight into the courage, sense of humor and hard work it takes for someone to integrate. Maybe just maybe, we can all be a little more tolerant of each other. If all else fails, these stories prove that we do have something in common, laughter.